oh sofia, i wish you had sent this letter! sometimes even a (metaphoric) bash on the head isn't enough to get through to doctors, and others, who live in a bubble of entitlement and arrogance. i'm so glad you have found suport and others who can empathise and care. sending healing energy.
Dear felice, thank you! I certainly contemplate writing some kind of response, especially after the hepatologist's comment that I seem to reluctant to consider anything they are able to offer. I will be seeing them again on 3 August, so I will have something to say. Thank you for reading XX
Oh Sofia, so much here. While not experiencing anything like your health problems, I do remember a somewhat similar experience with a neurologist 30 years ago. I was meant to see him at 8:30 so I could get to work but instead he saw me at 11:30 without an apology or explanation. He had a young student with him - ‘you don’t mind do you?’ - I didn’t but felt that I wouldn’t have had a choice anyway. ‘Migraines. Yes, mainly women who get them.’ (Neurotic) ‘You need to learn to relax!’ - I could have bitten his head off by then. ‘Try Beta Blockers. Very safe. Don’t know why they don’t add it into the water supply.’ By then I was seeing red and could only reply in monosyllables. I left without answers, without a prescription and was four hours late for work. Stressed.
When I saw my own doctor weeks later, she asked about the consultation. I told her. ‘Well that explains why he wrote that you were an “uncooperative patient”. I was seething and it still makes me angry that when we become patients we are treated this way. Take care and if possible, change doctors!!
Victoria, thank you for sharing your own experience. I can imagine how infuriating it must have been, the medical and epistemic arrogance! In her post-appointment letter to my GR, the hepatologist writes: "It seems that Sofia is reluctant to consider any option we can offer at the moment." I will certainly take it up with my GP. Thank you for reading and empathising!
Oh Sofia! I can really empathise, it sounds so grim - the internal voice that is so often that of the inner child, the inability/lack of opportunity to express one’s needs, the shutting off of self, the calm exterior, essentially masking what is really going on for you. I am sending hugs. I trust that you will get the best care for you through your GP. Sending hugs. Jo x
Abbey, thank you! Actually yesterday I was in a support group for people living with chronic conditions, and everyone agreed that medical training should definitely include a component along these lines. Thank you for your kind words! XX
Dear Sofia, I am discovering this post just now, and based on the timing you write about, you will have just had your follow-up appointment with these medical professionals. I hope that it was a more humane exchange, led by you. I hope you were listened to. I hope the experience was more satisfactory. I am struck by the powerful way in which you write this - acknowledging the old patterns keeping you small, and your inner voice remaining just that - inside. "Authority" figures shut me up, too. I totally empathize. Most importantly, I hope your health is improving, and you're feeling stronger at many levels.
Hello Robyn. Thank you for your kind comments. Yes, the appointment I had last Thursday with a diabetes nurse was much more satisfactory, and gave me the feeling of being listened to. I felt much more positive after it, in comparison with the previous appointment. Thanks for your good wishes too!
Sofia - I thought I had left you a comment here, so apologies. I really can't bear to think of how awful that was for you. The lack of empathy is often appalling with some doctors, as was clearly evident with yours. My son's first hip surgeon was renowned in his field, a great surgeon by all accounts - horrific bedside manner. He would sigh and shrug and say he didn't know why things weren't working, told me my son might never walk... one of my lovely GPs got me a second opinion appointment with a lovely young surgeon at a different hospital. He knew why I was coming, he knew his reputation, but he did reassure me that this surgeon's plan was sound. When I turned up at our next appointment with x-rays from a different hospital and feedback from this doctor, suddenly things changed. I have found it incredibly hard to advocate for myself with doctors, but for my son I was luckily able to. It shouldn't be a battle ground, it should be a supportive, understanding relationship. We shouldn't have to shout the loudest to be heard. I am sorry you had such a horrible experience. *hugs*
Kay, thank you for reading my post and for sharing your experiences. I am pleased that you were able to advocate for your son so effectively. I am getting better at doing it for myself as time goes on - I have plenty of opportunities to practise. XXX
Oh Sophia. I relate to SO MUCH of this! And the tragedy is that our doctors all want to throw pharmaceuticals at us vs treating us as whole people and offering practical alternatives! My mom’s doctor recently said to us, “conventional medicine is broken, integrative medicine must be the way of the future.” But her hands are tied due to being part of a corporate medical system. It is absolutely infuriating!
This is so true, sadly. But as I am the eternal optimist, I see this situation as a necessary stage as humanity moves towards integrative medicine. Change is happening among the grassroots, but the medical establishment, as with all established forms, is slow to catch up. Here is where patient responsibility comes in. Thank you for reading and engaging!
Sofia, I'm so sorry you went through this. But I also very much admire your writing in this piece. It's so creative and moving and brave. A big hug to you.
Hello Lillian. Thank you for your kind words. It was hard at the time but now that I keep thinking about it, it can give useful insights in communication and human nature. For me, it highlights that one can simply not know what another brings to the interaction at any given moment: here's the place for compassion. Thank you for reading - returning the hug!
This is beautiful, profound and heartbreaking. Your writing stays with me. I have been thinking about this letter since I read it yesterday. I hope writing it gave you some catharsis for such a frustrating and intense experience.
Dear Susannah, thank you for reading and for thinking of me. Yes, writing helped quite a bit: I now feel more prepared for the next appointment on 3 August. Thank you XXX
oh boy, I have been in consultations like that, and I feel your confusion and overwhelm, and the not being seen as a person, just a list of symptoms which need to be 'fixed'. Sending you lots of love xxx
Thank you for reading and empathising, Tracy. Over the last few days I've had other people share similar experiences. A patient movement seems to be needed to educate doctors!
My goodness. I cannot imagine the layers of suffering you've endured. I've had similar run ins with so called physicians. Most of them are mere tools of pharmaceutical companies - I no longer support this industry.
Being pre-diabetic, and diabetic for both gestations of Chris and of Emma, I've worked on ways to not take those idiotic chemicals, even if I do know how to design them, how they're made, and the calculations of Economics and Profits that are prioritized in their production and deployment.
First.. take charge of and take responsibility for your relationships. Some are sent to test us, some to delight. We grow more with those that challenge us.
Understand where those negative emotions come from: you have found the real cause when it makes you cry; so cry, and cry, and cry until that attachment is released. You are a bird ready to fly when you've cut the leash. Then find the spark of love that led to that attachment and recreate the love afresh.
Repeat the above for every relationship that matters to you and is hurting you. This is a lifelong journey and you'll be able to deal with just the easiest ones first. As the little muscle builds, you'll know which one to tackle next.
Secondly, and concurrent with step 1 above... do something like yoga, or pilates, or tap chi. There is negative energy stored in our bodies and this leads to pain. Sometimes you can identify the narrative, sometimes it's too metaphysical to identify clearly. Just the mere act of the physical release will clear the energy so we can restore more function. Layer by layer, just do what you can each day. It's another lifelong journey.
Thirdly, and concurrent with steps 1 and 2 above, give your physical body what it needs for full health. Drop all wheat products! It's more than gluten, it's about the carbs that you don't need. Have breakfast about 16 hours after dinner. Make dinner earlier or breakfast later, whatever it takes. This'll break the insulin resistance and give you a clearer mind. The brain works better in ketosis. Rice, candy, corn, and other high glycemic carbs are also out. Only fruits - until you have this sugar thing sorted out - could be berries, and maybe 30g daily of strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, mulberry, or raspberries. Eat proteins and fats (cream, cheese, olive oil, avocado oil) freely.
You can do this. I've cut my blood sugar, hypertension, weight, and feel happier, especially without those stinky medics.
Dear Rita, I don't know how to thank you for taking the time to give me such a detailed response - I appreciate it so much! I will try and get my head round the details, and will reach out to chat. Many many thanks for reading and for taking the trouble to write so much XXX
Dear Sofia, this is so powerful, the way you weave in the childhood you and your mother, is very poignant. I’m afraid I have no answers but do hope that the letter writing was cathartic and healing for you. I also secretly hope the consultant stumbles across this newsletter and has a word with themself…
Dear Jackie, writing the letter certainly helped me tease out where my (lack of) responses come from, which may help me articulate my point of view when I see the doctors next. Thank you for reading and for your kind words.
Such a powerful letter and why patients need advocates. I hope you find your voice to advocate for yourself and get the treatment that suits you. Hugs, if welcome.
Thank you for reading, Cathy. I will be seeing the two doctors again at the beginning of August, so I am planning the points I will mention there. Hugs are always welcome and reciprocated: this energy makes the world go round!
oh sofia, i wish you had sent this letter! sometimes even a (metaphoric) bash on the head isn't enough to get through to doctors, and others, who live in a bubble of entitlement and arrogance. i'm so glad you have found suport and others who can empathise and care. sending healing energy.
Dear felice, thank you! I certainly contemplate writing some kind of response, especially after the hepatologist's comment that I seem to reluctant to consider anything they are able to offer. I will be seeing them again on 3 August, so I will have something to say. Thank you for reading XX
Oh Sofia, so much here. While not experiencing anything like your health problems, I do remember a somewhat similar experience with a neurologist 30 years ago. I was meant to see him at 8:30 so I could get to work but instead he saw me at 11:30 without an apology or explanation. He had a young student with him - ‘you don’t mind do you?’ - I didn’t but felt that I wouldn’t have had a choice anyway. ‘Migraines. Yes, mainly women who get them.’ (Neurotic) ‘You need to learn to relax!’ - I could have bitten his head off by then. ‘Try Beta Blockers. Very safe. Don’t know why they don’t add it into the water supply.’ By then I was seeing red and could only reply in monosyllables. I left without answers, without a prescription and was four hours late for work. Stressed.
When I saw my own doctor weeks later, she asked about the consultation. I told her. ‘Well that explains why he wrote that you were an “uncooperative patient”. I was seething and it still makes me angry that when we become patients we are treated this way. Take care and if possible, change doctors!!
Victoria, thank you for sharing your own experience. I can imagine how infuriating it must have been, the medical and epistemic arrogance! In her post-appointment letter to my GR, the hepatologist writes: "It seems that Sofia is reluctant to consider any option we can offer at the moment." I will certainly take it up with my GP. Thank you for reading and empathising!
Oh Sofia! I can really empathise, it sounds so grim - the internal voice that is so often that of the inner child, the inability/lack of opportunity to express one’s needs, the shutting off of self, the calm exterior, essentially masking what is really going on for you. I am sending hugs. I trust that you will get the best care for you through your GP. Sending hugs. Jo x
Thank you for reading, Jo, for your kind comments and your love. It feels good to be heard and understood XXX
Wow, Sofia - such a powerful piece - so relatable. I feel like specialists should read this as part of their training.
Abbey, thank you! Actually yesterday I was in a support group for people living with chronic conditions, and everyone agreed that medical training should definitely include a component along these lines. Thank you for your kind words! XX
Dear Sofia, I am discovering this post just now, and based on the timing you write about, you will have just had your follow-up appointment with these medical professionals. I hope that it was a more humane exchange, led by you. I hope you were listened to. I hope the experience was more satisfactory. I am struck by the powerful way in which you write this - acknowledging the old patterns keeping you small, and your inner voice remaining just that - inside. "Authority" figures shut me up, too. I totally empathize. Most importantly, I hope your health is improving, and you're feeling stronger at many levels.
Hello Robyn. Thank you for your kind comments. Yes, the appointment I had last Thursday with a diabetes nurse was much more satisfactory, and gave me the feeling of being listened to. I felt much more positive after it, in comparison with the previous appointment. Thanks for your good wishes too!
Sofia - I thought I had left you a comment here, so apologies. I really can't bear to think of how awful that was for you. The lack of empathy is often appalling with some doctors, as was clearly evident with yours. My son's first hip surgeon was renowned in his field, a great surgeon by all accounts - horrific bedside manner. He would sigh and shrug and say he didn't know why things weren't working, told me my son might never walk... one of my lovely GPs got me a second opinion appointment with a lovely young surgeon at a different hospital. He knew why I was coming, he knew his reputation, but he did reassure me that this surgeon's plan was sound. When I turned up at our next appointment with x-rays from a different hospital and feedback from this doctor, suddenly things changed. I have found it incredibly hard to advocate for myself with doctors, but for my son I was luckily able to. It shouldn't be a battle ground, it should be a supportive, understanding relationship. We shouldn't have to shout the loudest to be heard. I am sorry you had such a horrible experience. *hugs*
Kay, thank you for reading my post and for sharing your experiences. I am pleased that you were able to advocate for your son so effectively. I am getting better at doing it for myself as time goes on - I have plenty of opportunities to practise. XXX
We shouldn’t have to, you shouldn’t have to. I’m sorry it’s been like this xxx
Just read “how not to die”. Brilliant advice for health. Also on Gaia network, anything with Joe Dispenza will have you believing in miracles.
I love your writing. Profound and thoughtful.
Thank you for reading, Marianne, and for the book and resources recommendations. I'll look them up.
Oh Sophia. I relate to SO MUCH of this! And the tragedy is that our doctors all want to throw pharmaceuticals at us vs treating us as whole people and offering practical alternatives! My mom’s doctor recently said to us, “conventional medicine is broken, integrative medicine must be the way of the future.” But her hands are tied due to being part of a corporate medical system. It is absolutely infuriating!
This is so true, sadly. But as I am the eternal optimist, I see this situation as a necessary stage as humanity moves towards integrative medicine. Change is happening among the grassroots, but the medical establishment, as with all established forms, is slow to catch up. Here is where patient responsibility comes in. Thank you for reading and engaging!
Sofia, I'm so sorry you went through this. But I also very much admire your writing in this piece. It's so creative and moving and brave. A big hug to you.
Hello Lillian. Thank you for your kind words. It was hard at the time but now that I keep thinking about it, it can give useful insights in communication and human nature. For me, it highlights that one can simply not know what another brings to the interaction at any given moment: here's the place for compassion. Thank you for reading - returning the hug!
This is beautiful, profound and heartbreaking. Your writing stays with me. I have been thinking about this letter since I read it yesterday. I hope writing it gave you some catharsis for such a frustrating and intense experience.
Dear Susannah, thank you for reading and for thinking of me. Yes, writing helped quite a bit: I now feel more prepared for the next appointment on 3 August. Thank you XXX
oh boy, I have been in consultations like that, and I feel your confusion and overwhelm, and the not being seen as a person, just a list of symptoms which need to be 'fixed'. Sending you lots of love xxx
Thank you for reading and empathising, Tracy. Over the last few days I've had other people share similar experiences. A patient movement seems to be needed to educate doctors!
Dear Sofia,
My goodness. I cannot imagine the layers of suffering you've endured. I've had similar run ins with so called physicians. Most of them are mere tools of pharmaceutical companies - I no longer support this industry.
Being pre-diabetic, and diabetic for both gestations of Chris and of Emma, I've worked on ways to not take those idiotic chemicals, even if I do know how to design them, how they're made, and the calculations of Economics and Profits that are prioritized in their production and deployment.
First.. take charge of and take responsibility for your relationships. Some are sent to test us, some to delight. We grow more with those that challenge us.
Understand where those negative emotions come from: you have found the real cause when it makes you cry; so cry, and cry, and cry until that attachment is released. You are a bird ready to fly when you've cut the leash. Then find the spark of love that led to that attachment and recreate the love afresh.
Repeat the above for every relationship that matters to you and is hurting you. This is a lifelong journey and you'll be able to deal with just the easiest ones first. As the little muscle builds, you'll know which one to tackle next.
Secondly, and concurrent with step 1 above... do something like yoga, or pilates, or tap chi. There is negative energy stored in our bodies and this leads to pain. Sometimes you can identify the narrative, sometimes it's too metaphysical to identify clearly. Just the mere act of the physical release will clear the energy so we can restore more function. Layer by layer, just do what you can each day. It's another lifelong journey.
Thirdly, and concurrent with steps 1 and 2 above, give your physical body what it needs for full health. Drop all wheat products! It's more than gluten, it's about the carbs that you don't need. Have breakfast about 16 hours after dinner. Make dinner earlier or breakfast later, whatever it takes. This'll break the insulin resistance and give you a clearer mind. The brain works better in ketosis. Rice, candy, corn, and other high glycemic carbs are also out. Only fruits - until you have this sugar thing sorted out - could be berries, and maybe 30g daily of strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, mulberry, or raspberries. Eat proteins and fats (cream, cheese, olive oil, avocado oil) freely.
You can do this. I've cut my blood sugar, hypertension, weight, and feel happier, especially without those stinky medics.
Call me anytime you want to talk!!
Love,
Rita
Dear Rita, I don't know how to thank you for taking the time to give me such a detailed response - I appreciate it so much! I will try and get my head round the details, and will reach out to chat. Many many thanks for reading and for taking the trouble to write so much XXX
Dear Sofia, this is so powerful, the way you weave in the childhood you and your mother, is very poignant. I’m afraid I have no answers but do hope that the letter writing was cathartic and healing for you. I also secretly hope the consultant stumbles across this newsletter and has a word with themself…
Dear Jackie, writing the letter certainly helped me tease out where my (lack of) responses come from, which may help me articulate my point of view when I see the doctors next. Thank you for reading and for your kind words.
Not at all! Wishing you a much better experience next time, Sofia 🤞🏻
Such a powerful letter and why patients need advocates. I hope you find your voice to advocate for yourself and get the treatment that suits you. Hugs, if welcome.
Thank you for reading, Cathy. I will be seeing the two doctors again at the beginning of August, so I am planning the points I will mention there. Hugs are always welcome and reciprocated: this energy makes the world go round!
Sounds awful. Sending much love and healing wishes xx
It was really hard, but I am feeling better now. Thank you Sherry XXX
PS. Integrative Medicine- BodyTalksystem.com